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May 21, 1982

Max Stern: An Appreciation (1982)

Eulogies & Memorials
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Eulogy for Abe Stern (2006)

Tisha B’Av early this year... Indeed, generally: man = microcosm; but sages: micro-Mikdash. Hence: your premature Tisha B’Av = ours... Both as family member and communal leader – he was a powerful personality, leaves indelible imprint on lives of wife, children, grandchildren, all Jewish community. In his personality, paradoxically combined two opposites – firmness and flexibility. וידבר משה אל ראשי המטות – "מטה" – "שבט" – rod/whip. Avraham: both strictness/principle; suppleness/means. At home = loving and giving husband/father/grandfather. At work = disciplinarian; could demand as well as inspire.Used skills as Soc Wrkr (YU)t fulfil sp mission: OUTREACH I remember lsl YU Seminar—was insprtn JSS; set pattern f... Truly /tv rahani -tho othrs claimd credit;sp’l fathr thousandsYoungst mmber large/distngshd famy, h brought thm נחת Presided talentd, committd, loving family Dghtrs=also hs studnts; role model gr-chAbove all: Malka’s heroism...a classcal example Iv/loyaltySaid: hs Death =Churban,TB. But trad: glimmer hope/conslatnבמנחת ט"ב נולד המשיח|.איכה: קרא עלי מועד.לכן: אין תחנון, צ״צ בשבת חיד״א: לכן לא מיחו חכמים’על בנות דאהר חצות מתעסקות בכל כחן לכבד הבית ולתקן המטות, חיזקו ידיהם לקבוע אמונת הגאולה ולא יתיאשו ח״ר.Final note:תענית כ"ט—תי׳ר: משחרב הבית בראשונה נתקבצו כיתות כיתות של פרחי כהונה, ומפתחות ההיכל בידן, ועלו לגג ההיכל ואמרו לפניו: רבש״ע ... יהיו מפתחות מסורות לך, וזרקו□ כלפי מעלה. ויצתה כעין פיסת יד וקיבלתן מהם, וה□ קפצו ונפלו לתוך האורSo: Abe left “keys” t dghtrs, ..... Build yr fams, educate thm as he would have wanted
Eulogies & Memorials

Speech

Eulogy for Marsha Stern (1979)

I rise to speak the eulogy over Marsha this morning, despite great reluctance, because she requested it of me often, very often, directly and indirectly, over a long period of time; and halakhic authority has informed me that mitzvah le 'kayyem divrei ha-met, it is a sacred obligation to fulfill the wishes of the dying. So I speak, despite my hesitation and discomfort and scruples, because it is a mitzvah — and because I loved my friend Marsha dearly.I first met Marsha while co-chairing with her a Yeshiva University Women's Organization function about seven years ago. It was a spiritual and psychological discovery getting to know this attractive, efficient, outspoken, demanding, open-hearted, and extremely generous young woman. From then on we became fast friends, and the friendship increased with every week.What kind of person was Marsha? It is hard to describe her in a single set of adjectives — she was much too human, too complex, and too special for that. Perhaps her personality can best be expressed in the paradox that Carl Sandburg used to describe Abraham Lincoln — she was "made of steel and velvet."The steel was her indomitable will, her incredible bravery, her powerful character. She leaves behind her a legacy of strength and moral courage. At no point, no matter what the provocation, did she succumb to self-pity or to panic. She stared the Angel of Death in the face, and wrested from him his most precious secret: how to live. Marsha maintained that this five-year period of illness and agony was actually the most creative part of her life. She discovered her own identity and learned to be happy with it. Or perhaps it is inaccurate to say that she "discovered" her identity; more correctly, she created it, she forged an identity in the very furnace of affliction.Beset by problems and suggestions of despair that would normally have crushed any ordinary person, she fought back and mastered them. Every rock and every boulder in her path she considered stepping-…
Eulogies & Memorials

Speech

Eulogy for Max L. Friedman (1979)

Two of the most significant days in the Jewish calendar are Rosh Hashanah, the new year, and Shabbat, the Sabbath. They represent two different notes in the symphony of Jewish values. Rosh Hashanah is a day when we sound the Shofar, the ram's horn: the ancient alarm clock that stirs the conscience and jars the complacence of those who listen to it with the requisite sensitivity. Shabbat is a day of rest and quiet. (The Jerusalem Talmud maintains that only with difficulty did the tradition permit people to greet each other on the Sabbath!) It is a day which mutes the din of daily turmoil, and in which a serene joy prevails. It is the day of Shalom, peace, and hence the greeting, Shabbat Shalom.Both of these are important. There are times when we must choose the stirring stimulus of Rosh Hashanah, and times that we must opt for the subdued thoughtfulness of the Shabbat. But if we are forced to choose one over the other, which does the Jewish tradition recommend?The answer will be obvious this year, for in but two days we shall be celebrating Rosh Hashanah which falls on the Sabbath. And on this day, the Shofar will be silent. The Shabbat takes precedence over Rosh Hashanah. Judaism cherishes the value of the soft word over the loud blast — no matter how eloquent; the quiet thought over the jarring alarm — no matter how necessary.Max L. Friedman epitomized this triumph of gentleness and serenity. He was a refined gentleman who was modest and warm in private, even while he was wise and perceptive.It is not an exaggeration to say that he possessed saintly attributes. In the Jewish tradition, saintliness (hasidut) does not have other worldly connotations. Rather, it implies superlative character, exemplary moral conduct.Max Friedman was such a man. He was a man of shalom, of peace. Indeed, his name, "Friedman," means, "a man of peace." He was sweet and generous and kindly, thoughtful and loving and considerate.He demonstrated this character all his life. He was loving an…
Eulogies & Memorials