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Correspondence

June 6, 1974

Letter to Dr. Offenbacher about the Chevra Kadisha and Burial Procedures (1974)

Death & Mourning
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Letter to Members of the Chevra Kadisha with Praise and Stressing Need for Confidentiality (1969)

To: All Members of the Hebra Kadisha, Men’s and Women’s Divisions, From: Rabbi Norman Lamm: I want to take this opportunity to offer some words of special commendation to all members of the Hebra Kadisha for having carried out with such dedication and efficiency the very demanding tasks that unfortunately were imposed upon them several times in the last few weeks. It is a tribute to the members of the Hebra, and a vindication of the esteem and affection in which they are held by our entire congregation, that despite especially trying circumstances, their voluntary work continued unabated and without reluctance.As an addendum to this thank-you note, in which I know all The Center joins me, I want to record some observations which may be of importance for future activity of the Hebra.It sometimes happens that post-mortems are performed on the bodies of those to whom the Hebra ministers. When this happens, please bear in mind that if the autopsy was performed against the decision of the Rabbis, or without obtaining their prior permission, then the Rabbis will usually (but not always) refrain from asking the Hebra to offer their services in that case. Whenever, therefore, you do find such a condition, you may assume that rabbinical consent was given, either because civil law demanded it, or because the Halakhah required it or permitted it.In all such cases, please bear in mind that special delicacy and tenderness should be extended not only to the deceased, but also to the sentiments of the survivors. The less that is said to outsiders about such individual cases the better. The Hebra ought to treat all such information as confidential and privileged, in the same way that a lawyer does not disclose the affairs of his client, or a Rabbi the problems of those who come to consult him. Otherwise, a great deal of the good that all of us try to do, and in fact do, is impaired.I hope you will forgive this lengthy note, but I do think that the members of the Hebra ought to kno…
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Correspondence

Letter to Dr. Offenbacher about Shomrim for Mourners (1976)

I do not believe we have to be excessively worried about a shomer who must take time out from his duties for personal needs. I assume, of course, that these absences from his duties do not last more than a very few minutes. Under such circumstances, there is no reason to be stringent. 2. With regard to the conduct of the shomer during his duties, it is traditional that the shomer recite Psalms. At present, I think it would be too radical a departure from custom to allow the shomer to engage in other pursuits, such as secular studies. I would prefer that the yeshiva students whom we are considering as shomrim be instructed to stay with Psalms – preferably those items which are studied during the “Nine Days,” such as מסכת מועד קטן or פרקי ירמיהו, special chapters of Jeremiah, איכה, etc. If the student feels that he must devote his time to other areas of Torah study, then I would not object to it. 3. I am studying the question of a Sefer Torah to be used exclusively for the mourners’ homes, and will inform you when I’ve arrived at a decision.
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Letter to Dr. Offenbacher about the Chevra Kadisha Wearing a Kittel on High Holidays (1976)

Dear Elmer: I think it would be a good idea to persuade all male members of the Hevra Kadisha to wear the kittel on the High Holidays. I have been trying for some time to popularize this beautiful custom amongst our membership, and while I cannot expect all of them to abide by it, I certainly think that the Hevra Kadisha are the appropriate “pioneers” in this matter. Do you think we should contact them by mail, or is it perhaps best to leave this to a personal message from you as the Chairman? All my best – and good luck on your forthcoming simcha. Cordially yours, Rabbi Norman Lamm
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