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Correspondence

June 5, 1969

Letter about the Halachic Permissibility of Reinterment (1969)

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Correspondence

Exchange about Halacha of Reinterment (1969)

Dear Sir: It has been suggested to me that I write you about the following matter. My husband, [redacted] passed away unexpectedly at the age of fifty, on February 19th, 1960. Due to the suddenness of the situation, he was buried at Riverside Cemetery in Lodi, New Jersey. At the time, I was not aware that the cemetery was Orthodox. My husband was not a follower of the Orthodox Jewish religion, nor was he buried in an Orthodox ceremony. My husband’s older brother, with whom he was very close, was supposed to be buried in Riverside Cemetery also, but he now resides in Florida and has made plans to be buried in that state. My son also plans to move his family South at a later date. Consequently, I have started thinking about moving South also. Under the circumstances, I would like to create a family plot there now and inter my husband, but I have been told that this cannot be done because there would be no member of the family buried there. I have been assured that when someone in the “Palace” family dies, it will be possible to move my husband.Naturally, I am very concerned as I do not want in any event to be separated from my husband. I am now in my late sixties and quite upset by this matter, and it is beginning to affect my health.I am appealing to you in hopes that you will be able to write me a letter giving me, my son, or daughter permission to move my husband in the event of my, my son’s, or daughter’s demise. This would give me the assurance that I need to ease my mind.My husband’s last words to me were to take care of myself and see that everything was done as I wished. I hope you will be able to assist me in this task.Sincerely yours, [redacted]
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Correspondence

Letter to Members of the Chevra Kadisha with Praise and Stressing Need for Confidentiality (1969)

To: All Members of the Hebra Kadisha, Men’s and Women’s Divisions, From: Rabbi Norman Lamm: I want to take this opportunity to offer some words of special commendation to all members of the Hebra Kadisha for having carried out with such dedication and efficiency the very demanding tasks that unfortunately were imposed upon them several times in the last few weeks. It is a tribute to the members of the Hebra, and a vindication of the esteem and affection in which they are held by our entire congregation, that despite especially trying circumstances, their voluntary work continued unabated and without reluctance.As an addendum to this thank-you note, in which I know all The Center joins me, I want to record some observations which may be of importance for future activity of the Hebra.It sometimes happens that post-mortems are performed on the bodies of those to whom the Hebra ministers. When this happens, please bear in mind that if the autopsy was performed against the decision of the Rabbis, or without obtaining their prior permission, then the Rabbis will usually (but not always) refrain from asking the Hebra to offer their services in that case. Whenever, therefore, you do find such a condition, you may assume that rabbinical consent was given, either because civil law demanded it, or because the Halakhah required it or permitted it.In all such cases, please bear in mind that special delicacy and tenderness should be extended not only to the deceased, but also to the sentiments of the survivors. The less that is said to outsiders about such individual cases the better. The Hebra ought to treat all such information as confidential and privileged, in the same way that a lawyer does not disclose the affairs of his client, or a Rabbi the problems of those who come to consult him. Otherwise, a great deal of the good that all of us try to do, and in fact do, is impaired.I hope you will forgive this lengthy note, but I do think that the members of the Hebra ought to kno…
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Correspondence

Letter to Dr. Offenbacher about the Chevra Kadisha and Burial Procedures (1974)

Dear Elmer, Just a note or two about the Hebra Kadisha: (1) Rabbi Wermuth told me that Mr. Dorfzaun and you had raised some questions about the coffins that we permit for burials which take place under the aegis of The Jewish Center. I would like to inform you that we do not insist upon the very cheapest pine box. As long as there are no halakhic violations, we like to give the family some area of choice. The Riverside people therefore know that there are three boxes of which we approve.In the next few weeks, I will be making up the schedule for the three lectures that had been requested by the Hebra Kadisha. At the suggestion of some of the members, these will be kept restricted only to members of the Hebra. My present plans call for one lecture on , one on (these two to be given to the men's and women's Hebra Kadisha together), and one, to each group separately, on the practical techniques. The last lecture should be more in the form of a seminar by the older members to the newer ones. If there are any questions, they should be submitted to me in advance by the individuals who will be leading the discussion.I would like the Hebra Kadisha to consider the following idea, which I propose tentatively. At present, our tasks seem to be exclusively related to taharah. As you yourself had indicated, we ought to broaden the scope of our activities. My thought is that if that is the case, we ought to enlarge the Hebra and invite participation even by those who may be too squeamish to participate in a taharah. We might, for instance, set the number of 18 members for each group, knowing that there are at least half of each group that we can count on for taharot. The others could be assigned specific duties, such as telephoning. But much more important would be the following two areas: men members of the Hebra, especially those who do not volunteer for taharot, would be expected to attend minyanim of families sitting shiva, so that there never be any problem of a family of Th…
Death & Mourning