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Correspondence

March 23, 1964

Letter to Franklin Rothenberg about Booklet on Marriage for His Upcoming Wedding (1964)

Marriage & Sexuality
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Letter to Charlotte Schoen about Her Reaction to "The Role of the Synagogue in Sex Education" (1967)

Dear Mrs. Schoen: Thank you very much for your detailed comments on my lecture on sex education at the Federation of Jewish Philanthropies a week or two ago. Your comments are well taken and thoughtful. I found much to interest me in them. I should like to make clear that I have nothing against those who seek the life of kedushah as a way to mental health, provided that ultimately living practically the regimen of holiness leads them to transcend the quest for mental therapy and to seek spiritual fulfillment. However, to remain at that point whereby one merely uses religion as a tool for mental self-help is to be guilty of arrested development and subversion of the purpose of religion. I therefore find myself in agreement with Mr. Bradshaw concerning immediate methodology, but in ultimate terms, if you permit me to restate my position, mental health is a means to achieve kedushah and not the other way around.Thank you for your comments about a sex education in the public schools, and your confidence in the quality of their efforts. I hope you will be proven right. My own feeling is that even if they perform their tasks to the best of their ability it will not really solve all our problems concerning the role of sex in life and the quality of life itself in this complicated, complex technopolitan society.I very much enjoyed reading the sermonette by your daughter, and especially appreciate her quiet confidence in her Judaism and especially her modesty and yet strength in expressing her faith.Kindest regards,Cordially yours,Rabbi Norman LammRNL/fz
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Letter to Saul Bernstein about Homosexuality Article (1968)

Dear Saul: I am returning to you the photocopy of Morris Smith's letter to the editor, and including a letter from Rabbi Richard Israel of Yale, plus a response by myself. I suggest that the Smith letter be printed first, followed by the Israel letter, and then my answer. Israel first sent his letter to me as a private communication. I then received his permission to reword the letter referring to me in the third person, and have it printed as a letter to the editor of Jewish Life. Since these are communications and not articles, they should be uncensored by the editor. Nevertheless, I would very much appreciate any comments you may have to make about my response. Please let me know when you expect to have these letters published, and please arrange to let me have several extra copies.Rabbi NormanMorris Smith 84 Fifth Ave. New York, N.Y. 10011Dear Mr. Bernstein:Rabbi Lamm’s article on homosexuality in your January–February 1968 edition is most interesting. It represents an application of Jewish principles to a modern subject, an updating of Jewish law to modern life. It is a welcome addition to Jewish thinking for relatively unlearned individuals such as myself. However, one of the conclusions (or side remarks) I find most troublesome — disturbing if it reflects the general attitude in the Orthodox leadership.I refer to the statements that the author presents for advocating that homosexuality should not be treated as a criminal offense. Briefly the two reasons given are: (1) our present society and its judiciary is such that the courts do not wish to intervene when other individuals and society are not directly involved, and (2) our prisons as now constituted would worsen the homosexual’s condition.I assume that the Rabbi agrees that the Orthodox Jew (and others) whom he seeks to guide as well as to teach should be involved in American social and political life, and should participate in developing its laws and its practices. And I also assume that it is desirable …
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Letter to Dr. Brayer about Fees for Marriage Counseling (1975)

Dear Menachem: Enclosed please find a check for $240.00 for “Case R.” According to your bill, this amounts to $20.00 per session. Is this the total fee, or half the fee, the other half of which is being paid by “R”? Thank you for your Xerox of the memorandum by the Abramsons. I found both items on my desk upon my return from Israel (where, incidentally, I spent Shabbat services with your brother, who sends you his regards). This latter matter is fraught with great danger. I have been having endless conversations with Rabbi Steinberg on the Halakhic issues involved. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion, which I long suspected, that the husband in this case is psychopathic or demonic – depending on whether one looks at him from your professional perspective or mine... Let us keep in contact. Cordially yours, Rabbi Norman Lamm
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