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August 27, 2007

Eulogy for Judith Lamm Young (2007)

Eulogies & Memorials
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Eulogy for Judd Feinerman (2007)

וַיְחִי יוֹסֵף וְכָל אֲחָיו וְכֹל הַדּוֹר הַהוּא so we read begnng next שבת. Last weeks: confront Jos & bros esp Jud... וייגש יהודה.... They = not only conflicts but also contrasts (in pers’y). J + J = archetypes.... JOS.: a charmer / slf-confidnt / winng ways / as close as possbl to perfctn – not perfct (no one is...) but close... וְיוֹסֵף אִישׁ מַצְלִיחַ. JUDH: checkrd career; string of shamefl failures: consorting w strange womn; Tamar.; sellg Jos slavry.. BUT ultmtly saves the day f Jac & fam... (So Maim: חסיד המעולה / הכובש את יצרו). Fr JAC’s blssngs—obv’sly loves JOS... BUT: Lp t JUDH JAC undsrstd man ovrcame failure / challlngs = more human. Tru LDR = 1 who stumbld / staggrd & got up; undrstnds hs ppi – שבע יפול צדיק וקם. Pure TYPES = rare. Most us == combntn... OUR JUDD = such combn – BUT mostly JUDH-namesake! His JUDH side: commnl Idtr: BT / YU; 14 yrs ChB / RlETS... Ik JUDI I, mistks / blundrs / wrcstl w slf bt Ik JUDI I מטרף בת עלית. Earnd respct of bros., fathr: עתה יודוך אחיך. His JOS side 11 rveald to friends... we loved him dearly – his warmth, charm, devotion to Yiddishkeit – he was ובע עתים לתורה and learned in all conditions. Above all – his family, who appreciated his qualities but who loved him unconditionally – he was their JOS; and gave him respect but especially love. "I never saw greater loyalty in any Jewish family..." Shepsie: 54 yrs... Children: Eliott (Carol); Sharon (Abe); Rodney (Razy); Ina (Shalom); sisters... grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Now that he’s gone, cherish your mother all the more. Gemara Ketubot – Rabbi: הזהרו בכבוד אמכם – and the Gemara: הלא זה מצוה מה״ת? Whatever the Talmud’s answer, here’s my interpretation: זהר < הזהרו – don’t just give her perfunctory love but glow – see the opportunity, the chance to keep links to your father via your mother. JUDD. Mishlei 24:16 – שבע יפול צדיק וקם... like the Biblical Judah, in the end he overcame early indiscretions... רקם... So you too rise to unexpected heights, you rise in the eyes…
Eulogies & Memorials

Speech

Eulogy for Judith Goldman (1995)

I am the eigth and last one to speak the eulogy over Judy Goldman. Seven dear and beloved relatives and friends have spoken eloquently, sincerely, and sensitively about Judy – and we have still not scratched the surface. Nor can we. Judy has been referred to by the honorific first bestowed upon praiseworthy Jewish women by King Solomon, אשת חיל, a "woman of valor" or excellence or accomplishment. The verse reads, אשת חיל מי ימצא, "a good woman who can find?," and proceeds to adumbrate the qualities and virtues of an אשת חיל.The great Kotzker Rebbe wonders: why is Solomon asking who can find an accomplished woman? Why the intimation that she is difficult to find? And he answers: because a truly outstanding woman is ultimately unknowable, because even when you think you know her, you discover another layer of qualities, and after that yet another and more deeply embedded identity, and a still deeper nature. Hence, אשת חיל מי ימצא.This is true of our Judy—there were many layers of her personality; indeed there were simultaneously and in glorious coherence a number of Judys. Let us enumerate some of them, omitting the details already covered by previous speakers.There was the Beautiful Judy—always attractive, elegant in her r carriage, her look, her poise. She was an inspiration, looking much younger than her years. She had a special spark—who else would think of even entertaining the impulse to call her sister Jean and say, "There's a chocolate convention in town; let's go!" or, a bit later, the same invitation to join her at a strudel convention! She possessed what almost could be called charisma—one that proved so very intriguing and attractive. All this was accompanied by an irrepressible a sense of humor. Judy had a special flair, a quality of personality that was so indomitable that many others found her somewhat intimidating. Indeed—she didn't suffer fools gladly; but she suffered them...Then there was Responsible Judy—who felt she owed it to the community to ex…
Eulogies & Memorials

Article

She Might Have Been a Rebbe: An Uncle's Hesped for Judith Young (2007)

Still staggering from the trauma of the dreadful news of the demise of my niece, Judy Young, I find myself unable to adequately offer either my feelings of bereavement or an evaluation of her short but full life. My initial reaction is to quote Kohelet: “Vehinei dimat ha'ashukim ve'ein lahem menachem – Behold the tears of the oppressed, and they have no comforter” (4:1). You, I, we – all feel robbed, violated, devastated by Judy’s sudden death. And the pain is so great that there is no consolation. But if I can’t find my own words, let me imagine what Judy would say to eulogize herself. Knowing her attitude and her exceedingly firm bitachon, I believe she would say:Don’t cry over me! The Ribbono Shel Olam has been so good to me. He gave me distinguished parents who granted me inspiration and space to grow true to my own nature. I married a hero of Yiddishkeit; a prince of love, of decency, of devotion and a genuine talmid chacham and educator. We had a wonderful life together, and he was my chavruta as well. I beat back the Malach Hamavet several times after the doctors had despaired of my recovery. They warned me, as a young wife, that I would never be able to bear a child. But the Ribbono Shel Olam had His own plans, and I was blessed with seven outstanding children—all loyal to Torah, talmud Torah and gemilut chasadim. In the words of the Navi, “Rani akarah lo yaladah, pitzchi rinah vetzahali, Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy” (Isaiah 54:1).In my battle for life, I won! So celebrate my life with me! Of course, there will be tears and you’ll miss me—but remember always to be thankful to the Almighty on my behalf for all the chesed He showed me.Judy was a rare individual: she was a born leader—intelligent, energetic, strong-willed, single-minded to the point of stubbornness, charismatic and endowed with a powerful personality, which made her such an inspiring teacher and innovative educator (whether or not one agree…
Eulogies & Memorials