Yom Tov is an occasion of Simchah, hence a supreme exercise in full living; Yizkor is a memorial prayer, hence opportunity think of the end of life; and Yizkor on Yom Tov is the time to discuss relationship life to death; better, what is meaning, if any, of death, and what can living learn from its harsh, grievous consequences? The meaning of death for those who remain living must be approached by us, who are religious Jews, from Torah point of view. And that Torah attitude comes as an affirmative answer to the question: Is death just? Those who lost dear… have had that agonizing question pierce hearts: where is the justice…? And Torah says, Yes, as grievous, as terrible, as painful as it is, it is not only inevitable but just… tzidduk ha’din…

1. Why does Judaism… just? Because it posits as one of its first principles: baalus ha’Shem… we are His kinyanim, acquisitions…to our way of thinking, life itself is not ours as a gift, but only a trust, something to watch and guard but which belongs to G-d…. byadcha afkid ruchi…
2. Essentially, this was the reason for makkos, which led to the Exodus… Pesach… Taught Pharaoh – and all people – Nile not yours, Egypt not yours, own bodies… life itself…
3. This idea is expressed in all its stark, even beautiful, simplicity in the famous story Bruriah and R. Meir… pikadon… ha’Shem nassan v’ha’Shem lakach y’hi ahem ha’Shem m’vorach…

But surely the picture Bruriah painted was less simple than all that. Did not R. Meir know what every schoolboy reads Bible knows?... No, if we want to understand the depth of her remarks, we must visualize more dramatically the metaphor of Bruriah, see its sharpness and subtleness, the nuances of psychology, and the play of emotions.

I believe that Bruriah told the story in more of the following manner:... (JB interpretation emphasize… thought pikadon really matanah… so children)

1. Death is tragic, but just – and becomes bearable when we realize that those closest to us never belonged to us, were merely trust entrusted to us by merciful G-d – how complain then when the owner reclaims it?
2. When value this thought? – first is obvious: it takes the edge off grief, blunts the sharpness of the pain. Wrong to speak of dear ones “lost.” In Yizkor prayers, we do not say that. Say, rather, halchu l’olaman… returned… went back to arms G-d… reclaimed by original and rightful owner. It is a return, not a loss. When people understand that life is a trust, not a gift; that not they but G-d is the owner of all; that death is a return, not a loss; then the burden becomes bearable, the suffering sufferable, and with time the grief diminishes. Ha’Shem nassan ha’Shem lakach… if G-d took, it is only because it is G-d Who gave. Yehi shem ha’Shem m’vorach, thank G-d for having given at least what He did.
3. The 2nd consequence of this thought is one that leads to a more ethical and moral life for the living. If true G-d owns all, even our very lives, certainly then He is the absolute owner our substance, our earnings. Means all we have is only entrusted to us, no absolute ownership. The Jew cannot agree with the English legal thinker, Wm. Blackstone, that property is the absolute right of its human owner. Nor, for that matter, can we agree with Walter Lipmann that the earth is the general property of all mankind. Neither a man nor some men nor all men have absolute rights in ownership. Lashem ha’aretz umloah… G-d Who owns life itself certainly owns all else. It is a trust – nothing more, nothing less. And therefore, it is our duty to discharge that trust in accordance with the instructions of the real owner. What mean?... simply that which read this morning’s portion… aser t’aseir… pasoach tiftach es yadcha… ethical, decent, just, charitable living. Thus, the lessons taught by death are those which make life decent and noble and worthwhile. Life is enhanced and made beautiful and sacred when we understand death from a Torah point of view.
4. But the most important consequence of this understanding Death-Life relationship is 3rd: if true life is only pikadon, that parents and spouses and children only trust whom rightful owner who can recall when he so wills, then it follows that we must value them all the more dearly while they live. As Bruriah polished the diamonds, so must we enhance the depth of our associations with those we love. How often we regret our failure to do that when it is too late…

Our Rabbis wont to instruct Jews in kinud av v’em by holding up non-Jews as model decent filial behavior… Esau… dama ben nessinah mei’ashkelon… we too have a famous non-Jew hold up model behavior towards parents: Harry Truman – every great occasion life, note to mother precedence…

Have special recourse, this time the problem is very disturbing to me: children, the greatest trust any human being ever had. Attitudes parents to children vary from age to age, era to era. From cruel unconcern to overbearing pampering, or ludicrous self-sacrifice. Ours seems to be unique, harboring a profound paradox. Speak of it because it comes before me so often, resulting in so many difficulties. Find parents who, one hand: over-concern in psychology child. Throw around terms like “neurosis,” “complex,” “bloc,” “adjustment,” “phobia,” and other such, without faintest idea real meaning and with a panic that is unbelieveable – parents turn gray… and, other hand: same parents show a practical disregard for their sacred trust. Deny them companionship, guidance, and discipline because involved in “extracurricular” work in all kinds of social events. I do not know what to make of it, this sordid inconsistency. But can only hope that some of this advice will filter down to some of these otherwise highly intelligent, educated, well-intentioned young parents: remember: ha’Shem nassan… trust you must guard with life! Do not violate that trust with unlearned, fearful slogans just because they sound sophisticated! Do not neglect that trust mediocre, half-baked people who will bend whichever way the wind blows! Do not only brood over ha’Shem nassan v’ha’Shem lakach – learn as well the end of the verse: yehi… give your trusts the blessings of G-d by training them as courageous, genuine, fully educated Jews!.

1. This, then, is the Jewish attitude towards the end of life: it is intrinsically bound up with the process of life. It is based on the great principle of baalus ha’Shem, of G-d’s sovereignty and lordship. It regards life as a sacred trust, not a gratuitous gift. And from this thought there follow the three consequences mentioned: Grief is limited, and consolation is sure; life is more ethical, finer, more sacred, and more beautiful; and we begin to appreciate the trust of parents and husband and wife and children that G-d has entrusted to us.

In the memorial prayers: t’hei nishmassam tzurah bitzror hachayim… If we can learn those principles of life from the experience of death, then we shall have provided the definitive answer to that moving petition to the Almighty. For we will have secured the bond that ties our dear departed to the ever-strong pulsations of life and blessed immortality.